The Participants: |
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Hamden Playwright SC: The hosts; they
play in the SASL Over-30s league in the Second Division. These chaps were heavily favoured to cheat and win their
own trophy yet another year. The psychological warfare started early. They looked up and down their opponents and
figured Glastonbury Celtic FC could actually cheat better than they could and beat them at their own game. So,
they arranged the schedule so that Celtic start their tournament with back-to-back games, get them all stiff, like,
then make them wait 12 hours before they played their third game. This, Playwright thought, would totally knacker
Celtic up and they would be Playwright's playthings in the Final. This tactic almost worked, but Playwright forgot
one thing. Celtic would drink all the Smithwick's Ale during their huge siesta between games and this would keep
them supremely supple. As luck (ha ha) would have it, Playwright and Celtic would meet in the Final, where huge
drama would unfold as well as all the Ref.'s dirty laundry. |
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Milford Amigos SC: These chaps play in
the SASL Over-30s league in the Third Division West. These were the Men In Black. Despite a couple of losses, they
were actually the smartest-looking team in the tournament and they deserved to win everything because of tactical
nous in football kit. The Amigos, which is Russian for "Real Men Wear Black," were unfortunate to play
a man down for their first two games (the only ones they lost). This was later attributed to Playwright's superb
cheating skills when they stopped a car full of Amigos players at the main gate and sent them all home telling
them the tournament was tomorrow. Amigos' best game was their last game versus the Celtic when they had a full
quota of players and switched their goalkeeper to outfield and he promptly scored their first goal of the tournament!
Celtic were furious at such tactics, accusing the Amigos of some extraordinary Black Magic. Why, that's like the
pot calling the kettle ... [Editor: Er, that's enough of the Black jokes, thank you] |
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Glastonbury Celtic FC: Their players
came from their Over-30s and Over-40s teams, both who play in the SNEASL league. Hamden Playwright thought they
had this tournament all wrapped up with their supreme abilities to bend the rules, beating up grannies and little
kids, stealing candlesticks from the church, in fact there was nothing they wouldn't do to win their own tournament.
But, Celtic, also known as the Hooped Meanies, did them one better -- they paid off the Ref. Not only that, when
the Ref.'s money ran out and he gave Playwright a hotly disputed free kick inside Celtic's 18-yard area with just
three minutes to go in the Final, Celtic dug deep and showed their true character -- they threatened Playwright's
free kick taker with grevious bodily harm and to take away his beer after the game. Needless to say, this was a
brilliant play, the kick went wide hitting the corner flag on a pitch the next town over. Celtic showed Playwright
how true Champions win games. |
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El Grecos SC: A hybrid squad from all
over Kingdom Come (and one or two perhaps from beyond). Originally started as a team made up of mostly Over-40
players from the CARSL league, they also included players from several different SASL teams. They came with names
like The Turk, Spiros, Omar, Gabe, The Silver Fox, and, aye, there was also one known as, gasp, Shaun. They had the symbol of the Black Eagle on their shirts, and their hearts, and
there was no disguising that this was a bunch of cut-throat pirates out for some booty. Yeah, you know what I mean.
El Grecos, which is Greek for "The Greeks" (I had to look it up) sailed down the Long Island Sound all
the way from exotic places called Guilford, Clinton, Westbrook and other dens of iniquity. They swashbuckled themselves
into everyone's hearts with dazzling displays of skill, but their only fault for not reaching the Final was losing
to a bunch of slime even slimier than they were, the Hooped Meanies. |
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The Atmosphere: |
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The crowd enjoy the entertainment. Not the football on display,
but the beer, the food and the cheerleaders...
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... and here are the cheerleaders, the dirty little hussies, showing
all what they've got (which isn't very much)!
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Every crowd has some unruly hooligans, and this one was no different!
"OH
COME ON, REF! That call was a load of B*LL*CKS!"
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The cooks did an AWESOME job and the food was delicious!
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The Results and Standings: |
Games were 25-minute halves |
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Hamden Playwright |
3
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Milford Amigos |
0
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(HT 3-0)
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Pl
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W
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D
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L
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F
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A
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GD
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Pts
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Glastonbury Celtic FC |
3
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El Grecos |
1
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(HT 1-0)
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1
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Hamden Playwright
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3
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1
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2
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0
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6
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3
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3
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5
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Hamden Playwright |
1
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Glastonbury Celtic FC |
1
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(HT 1-0)
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2
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Glastonbury Celtic FC
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3
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1
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2
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0
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6
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4
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2
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5
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Milford Amigos |
0
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El Grecos |
4
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(HT 0-2)
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3
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El Grecos
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3
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1
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1
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1
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6
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4
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2
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4
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El Grecos |
1
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Hamden Playwright |
1
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(HT 0-1)
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4
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Milford Amigos
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3
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0
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1
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2
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2
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9
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-7
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1
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Milford Amigos |
2
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Glastonbury Celtic FC |
2
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(HT 1-1)
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Championship Final |
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Hamden Playwright |
0
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Glastonbury Celtic FC |
1
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(HT 0-0)
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The Winners! |
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Hamden Playwright manager Steve Flynn presents the trophy to Glastonbury
Celtic FC's Alex and Pat
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Triumphant Glastonbury Celtic FC celebrate their magnificent victory
with empty red cups
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The Referee: |
"How
the HECK am I going
to get out of here alive?"
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The original plan was to have two referees, but the second ref., a Hamden Playwright
player, couldn't get to the tournament until lunchtime when it was planned he would take over. When he arrived,
he was a bit concerned that he might be accused of some bias and favouritism towards his own team, so the first
ref. offered to do all the games. That's a total of seven games from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM! The Ref. got a bit knackered
during only the third game, but after a bottle of water and a couple of Advil (or was it other way around?) he
recovered to be as useless as before and finished out the day without keeling over, unlike past years... Despite
the Ref. being yelled at (sometimes very loudly, followed by spittle!) by one team or the other over almost every
call, it should be noted that (a) there were no assistant referees, (b) half the field was in dark shadow and it
was hard to see into it when standing in the bright sunshine, (c) the Ref. was actually an old git who got tired
during seven games in nine hours and couldn't focus 100% of the time, (d) the Ref. had yellow and red cards, but
chose not to use them when he really should have (at least one red and a handful of yellows), (e) the Ref. was
familiar with most of the players and felt the players were using that to attempt to swing calls their way, (f)
sometimes the players were reacting to the crowd's calls, not the Ref.'s, and (g) players should ref. some games
themselves to see how bloody hard it is to try to see everything, all the time -- and try doing it for nine hours
straight! |
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Many Thanks! |
Regardless of the results, a great day was had by all of the teams and all participants
thanked the East Haven Irish Club
for the facilities (including THE EXCELLENT
BEER!) and Hamden Playwright for
hosting and organsing a great tournament with great music and great food!
Thanks Steve and Greg!
Cheers!
- Garry Archer (The Ref.) |
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